This is a timeless classic, a heart-wrenching one written in 1974 by Harry Chapin about the opportunities that are lost when a parent can’t make time for their child. It attempts to teach a time-earned lesson sooner rather than later and is both a haunting and a cautionary tale.

Lyrics to listen for:

When you comin’ home son
I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then, Dad
We’re gonna have a good time then

Parents need to take back parenting……

I do not know why it bothers me but I see communities scramble to provide food for those children not in school, because, “if we don’t feed them who will?”  Well, isn’t that the parents’ job?  I hear the argument against closing schools because, “a child needs a safe place to go?”  Well, isn’t that what a parent is to provide? Yes, some students will miss out on learning math and reading but maybe, just maybe this will make parents take back their job as a parent.

I have said for years that society keeps asking more and more of our public schools and this coronavirus pandemic is shining a light on that fact right now.

When I began teaching in 1981 it was a really different world.  Students were expected to act in ways that would invite them into society and if there were problems the family was brought in to help solve the problem.  There were no free lunches, there was no free breakfast – the parents were EXPECTED to take care of the children they brought into this world!  There were always families that needed help but there were fewer back then and the community would jump in and help to provide a safety net for the children – neighbors, grandparents and even aunts and uncles.

In the late 80’s early 90’s I witnessed a shift in that thinking.  I was teaching in middle school and distinctly remember a meeting where teachers were very vocal about student behavior and the principal tried to help us see the change in the wind.  There had been a change in behavior from the elementary school and it was moving our way – back then we attributed it to “crack babies” – children born while the mother was on drugs and how it changed behavior in the child as they grew up.

At the same time all the teacher training began to change from teaching our subject matter to how to help these children be ready to learn.  I remember the big campaign – children cannot learn if their stomachs are empty – thus we began to provide free and reduced lunches.  I cannot remember when we began to provide breakfast but now, we are feeding these children two meals a day (in some schools’ dinner too!) and taking over responsibilities their parents should be doing.

Soon after there concern about student behavior and so we introduced “character” education.  Shouldn’t the parents be teaching their children how to treat people, how to act in public, how to be a responsible citizen?  So, here we are shaping the character of children and again taking that responsibility away from the parents’ shoulders.

Why are people having children if they cannot care for them?  Oh, wait that is an entirely different rant….

So, here we are with schools closed and parents having to take over the responsibility of being a parent to their children.  Feeding them, clothing them, teaching them and spending time with them instead of handing them over to the school teachers who are drowning in a classroom of children who have behavior problems and learning problems.

Maybe, just maybe some of the families who are now at home with their children all day every day will take back their jobs as parents.  To feed them, to teach them, to love them and spend time with them.

This song I chose today is Cat Stevens song “The Cat’s in the Cradle”.  Children learn what they live.