Advent 2021

Well, in just a few months it will be a full two years since the pandemic began. I must confess that with the pandemic and moving to Texas, I have not yet found a new church home. So, today on this first day of Advent 2021 I will practice “Forgiveness” on myself. Not attending a brick-and-mortar building does not mean I have moved away from my faith, on the contrary I still remain faithful in my beliefs but I do not yet have a faith community to share that with.

I have decided to use this Advent season to return to daily reflection and prayer. In my life music is very important for me so I will blog each day a seasonal song to share with you.

Today, the first Sunday of advent I have chosen the hymn “O Come, O come Emmanuel”. The term advent in Latin means “coming or arrival”. How appropriate those words are as we have spent almost the last two years waiting on an end to this pandemic and if you are like me feeling not at all in control of what is happening in the world.

Advent is a time of waiting and a time of preparation for the celebration of the birth of Christ. Before the birth of Jesus, the Israelites were waiting for a Savior to arrive! The arrival of this Savior was a child and that was not what they were expecting. The Son of God became a man like you and me. God did not have to do this – but He did. Those words strike a chord for me – He did not have to do it but He did! He did it for us so He could also become the sacrifice for our sins.

It took me listening to quite a few versions of this song to decide which one I would share. I wanted the pure sound of the lonely melody and the feeling of mourning and longing as we wait for the coming of a Savior to rescue us from all the ills of the world. Maybe this Advent we can remember that God saw our situation and sent the Christ Child. What we can learn from His birth and life is to wait patiently and know that God is in charge.

How Can I Keep from Singing?

My life flows on in endless song;

Above earth’s lamentation,

I hear the sweet, tho’ far-off hymn

That hails a new creation;

Thro’ all the tumult and the strife

I hear the music ringing;

It finds an echo in my soul—

How can I keep from singing?

What tho’ my joys and comforts die?

The Lord my Saviour liveth;

What tho’ the darkness gather round?

Songs in the night he giveth.

No storm can shake my inmost calm

While to that refuge clinging;

Since Christ is Lord of heaven and earth,

How can I keep from singing?

I lift my eyes; the cloud grows thin;

I see the blue above it;

And day by day this pathway smooths,

Since first I learned to love it,

The peace of Christ makes fresh my heart,

A fountain ever springing;

All things are mine since I am his—

How can I keep from singing?

Today is my 62^nd Birthday and I can hardly believe that I have lived over 6 decades. In so many ways I still feel 20, and optimistically I still have my whole life ahead of me! Reality is….I have lived a full life and am beginning to look back as well as ahead as I live day to day.

I hear some people talk about things they regret in their lives and I really do not regret a single thing. Most of my life decisions turned out to be good ones and even those paths I chose that may not have been the best, I can still see how they helped me grow and taught me things about myself and life.

This song is almost a mantra for me…I first fell in love with it when Enya sang it on one of her albums in the 1990’s. I fell in love with it more when my Mom was in hospice and the tune kept running through my head so I sang it to her in her hospital room. Even though we were so sad at the prospect of losing her, the fact was because of my faith I knew she would be in a much better place of peace.

We are living through a very strange time right now during the Covid Pandemic. I do not want to get into particular issues here but I can say with all my heart “How can I keep from Singing? And I have found that music has been a constant companion to me during this pandemic. I hope you enjoy this song.

“How Can I Keep From Singing?” (also known by its incipit “My Life Flows On in Endless Song“) is a Christian hymn with music written by American Baptist minister Robert Wadsworth Lowry. The song is frequently, though erroneously, cited as a traditional Quaker or Shaker hymn. The original composition has now entered into the public domain, and appears in several hymnals and song collections, both in its original form and with a revised text. Though it was not originally a Quaker hymn, twentieth-century Quakers adopted it as their own and use it widely today.

Learning How to Say Goodbye from My Mother

Learning How to Say Goodbye from my Mother

May has ended up being a tough month for me since my Mom passed. My Mother’s birthday is May 5^th and it is followed closely by Mother’s Day. It has been over 20 years since I last held her hand but it seems like yesterday and the sting of sadness stays forever.

I was a new Mom, Richard was only 3 ½ years old, My Mom, Mary Antoinette Fonte Brogna, was 78. She had ongoing health problems and had just started dialysis but it proved too much for her. We were all with Mom when she died, Dad, Anne and Pat, Carla and myself. It was 1:27 am and I saw the last pump of her blood thru her neck, she went peacefully. We all hugged in her hospital room and I remember my Dad crying and his tears were so big they splashed on the floor and got my toes wet. I knew that the love they had was rare and I wanted that kind of love in my life and the life of my son.

Mom wanted to be a nurse and planned to move to Buffalo to go to nursing school but Dad proposed to her so they got married. I didn’t come along in their marriage until they had worked out all the kinks so things were pretty peaceful. Mom went thru a depression and I saw her bring herself out of it thru her own will – that was a lesson! She also was a kid at heart, we both got our drives license’ at the same time, I was 16 and she was 56! She showed me happiness and sadness and the advice I can still hear her give me was “Remember, everything changes”. I give her credit for allowing me to go off to Arizona for school but the miles never kept our hearts apart. I was closer to my Mom across the country then some of my friends who had their Mom’s across town.

My greatest fear was losing my Mom – and yet her greatest lesson to me was in her death. This song always helps me remember the lessons she taught me, how to be strong, stand up for myself and know how to say goodbye and still survive.

I love you Mom! Happy Birthday! Happy Mothers Day!

Through the back window of our ’59 wagon
I watched my best friend Jamie slipping further away
I kept on wavin’ till I couldn’t see her
And through my tears I asked again, “Why we couldn’t stay”

Mama whispered softly
“Time will ease your pain
Life’s about changin’
Nothin’ ever stays the same”

And she said, “How can I help you
To say goodbye, it’s okay to hurt and it’s okay to cry
Come let me hold you and I will try
How can I help you to say goodbye”

I sat on our bed he packed his suitcase
I held a picture of our wedding day
His hands were trembling we both were cryin’
He kissed me gently and then he quickly walked away

I called up mama and she said
“Time will ease your pain
Life’s about changin’
Nothin’ ever stays the same”

And she said, “How can I help you
To say goodbye, it’s okay to hurt and it’s okay to cry
Come let me hold you and I will try
How can I help you to say goodbye”

Sittin’ with Mama alone in her bedroom
She opened her eyes and then squeezed my hand
She said, “I have to go now my time here is over”
And with her final words, she tried to help me understand

Mama whispered softly
“Time will ease your pain
Life’s about changin’
Nothin’ ever stays the same”

And she said, “How can I help you
To say goodbye, it’s okay to hurt and it’s okay to cry
Come let me hold you and I will try
How can I help you to say goodbye”