Category: musings on life

Think

Another song that dates me…….but this is the first song on the Osmonds Debut album back in 1970-71.  I fell in love with the lyrics back then –  boy do they resonate today.

I was walking today and this song popped up in my song playlist.  I had just gotten through reading the news and was using my walk to put all that out of my mind.

Ukraine is first and foremost a true tragedy.  Even knowing what is going on across the globe to the Ukrainian society there are people here who have to complain about the price of gas.  Stop and THINK –  you are not taking cover from bombs, or watching family and neighbors trying to stop a military tank from coming into their city.  It was not your wife or Mother in that maternity hospital that got bombed.  How secure are the nuclear plants near your home, because the ones near Ukraine are near failing. 

Just listen and think…………………   

You speak of freedom as if it’s just a word
Something you don’t think of because you’re so secure
Well I wonder what would happen
Do you think you might complain
If one day you woke up and found yourself in chains

Would it make you think, think about life
Would it make you think, think of what’s right
Would it make you think, make you think
Yeah, make you think

Sorrow can’t touch you, you’re too far out ahead
Got no need to worry about who’s dying or who’s dead
Take away your shelter, lay you naked on the ground
With no one to help you, do you think you like being down

Would it make you think, think about life
Would it make you think, think of what’s right
Would it make you think, make you think
Make you think

If some day you looked up, saw the burning sun
Shining down upon you and a voice said, “Tell me, son.
Have you been a true good brother?
Have you been a friend to all?”
Would that kind of grab you, put your back against the wall?

Would it make you think, think about life
Would it make you think, think of what’s right
Would it make you think, make you think
Yeah make you think whoa, think

Hey, would it make you think, think about life
Would it make you think, think of what’s right
Would it make you think, make you think
Yeah, would it make you think, whoa, think

Advent 2021

Well, in just a few months it will be a full two years since the pandemic began.   I must confess that with the pandemic and moving to Texas, I have not yet found a new church home.  So, today on this first day of Advent 2021 I will practice “Forgiveness” on myself.   Not attending a brick-and-mortar building does not mean I have moved away from my faith, on the contrary I still remain faithful in my beliefs but I do not yet have a faith community to share that with.

I have decided to use this Advent season to return to daily reflection and prayer.  In my life music is very important for me so I will blog each day a seasonal song to share with you.

Today, the first Sunday of advent I have chosen the hymn “O Come, O come Emmanuel”.  The term advent in Latin means “coming or arrival”.  How appropriate those words are as we have spent almost the last two years waiting on an end to this pandemic and if you are like me feeling not at all in control of what is happening in the world.   

Advent is a time of waiting and a time of preparation for the celebration of the birth of Christ. Before the birth of Jesus, the Israelites were waiting for a Savior to arrive!  The arrival of this Savior was a child and that was not what they were expecting.  The Son of God became a man like you and me.  God did not have to do this – but He did.  Those words strike a chord for me – He did not have to do it but He did! He did it for us so He could also become the sacrifice for our sins.

It took me listening to quite a few versions of this song to decide which one I would share.  I wanted the pure sound of the lonely melody and the feeling of mourning and longing as we wait for the coming of a Savior to rescue us from all the ills of the world.  Maybe this Advent we can remember that God saw our situation and sent the Christ Child.  What we can learn from His birth and life is to wait patiently and know that God is in charge.

Kyrie Eleison – Lord Have Mercy

 

Do we need this now!  I grew up reciting these words in church not paying too much attention to what they meant.  The song was popular in the 80’s but I didn’t think about the religious implications then, but I sure do now.  I heard this song on the radio yesterday and I thought “how timeless those words are”.

I am a Christian and I hold dear to my faith but I try not to close myself off from the world.  There are gems like this out there that speak to me and others about life.

Not too much else to say about this song, so listen, enjoy and “Kyrie Eleison” on your journey through this day!

 

Kyrie eleison definition, the brief petition “Lord, have mercy,” used in various offices of the Greek Orthodox Church and of the Roman Catholic Church.

The wind blows hard against this mountain side
Across the sea into my soul
It reaches into where I cannot hide
Setting my feet upon the road

My heart is old it holds my memories
My body burns a gem-like flame
Somewhere between the soul and soft machine
Is where I find myself again

*CHORUS*
Kyrie Eleison
Down the road that I must travel
Kyrie Eleison
Through the darkness of the night
Kyrie Eleison
Where I’m going will you follow
Kyrie Eleison
On a highway in the night

When I was young I thought of growing old
Of what my life would mean to me
Would I have followed down my chosen road
Or only wished what I could be

How Can I Keep from Singing?

 

My life flows on in endless song;

Above earth’s lamentation,

I hear the sweet, tho’ far-off hymn

That hails a new creation;

Thro’ all the tumult and the strife

I hear the music ringing;

It finds an echo in my soul—

How can I keep from singing?

What tho’ my joys and comforts die?

The Lord my Saviour liveth;

What tho’ the darkness gather round?

Songs in the night he giveth.

No storm can shake my inmost calm

While to that refuge clinging;

Since Christ is Lord of heaven and earth,

How can I keep from singing?

I lift my eyes; the cloud grows thin;

I see the blue above it;

And day by day this pathway smooths,

Since first I learned to love it,

The peace of Christ makes fresh my heart,

A fountain ever springing;

All things are mine since I am his—

How can I keep from singing?

 

Today is my 62nd Birthday and I can hardly believe that I have lived over 6 decades.  In so many ways I still feel 20, and optimistically I still have my whole life ahead of me!  Reality is….I have lived a full life and am beginning to look back as well as ahead as I live day to day.

I hear some people talk about things they regret in their lives and I really do not regret a single thing.  Most of my life decisions turned out to be good ones and even those paths I chose that may not have been the best,  I can still see how they helped me grow and taught me things about myself and life.

This song is almost a mantra for me…I first fell in love with it when Enya sang it on one of her albums in the 1990’s.  I fell in love with it more when my Mom was in hospice and the tune kept running through my head so I sang it to her in her hospital room.  Even though we were so sad at the prospect of losing her, the fact was because of my faith I knew she would be in a much better place of peace.

We are living through a very strange time right now during the Covid Pandemic.  I do not want to get into particular issues here but I can say with all my heart “How can I keep from Singing?  And I have found that music has been a constant companion to me during this pandemic.  I hope you enjoy this song.

“How Can I Keep From Singing?” (also known by its incipit “My Life Flows On in Endless Song“) is a Christian hymn with music written by American Baptist minister Robert Wadsworth Lowry. The song is frequently, though erroneously, cited as a traditional Quaker or Shaker hymn. The original composition has now entered into the public domain, and appears in several hymnals and song collections, both in its original form and with a revised text. Though it was not originally a Quaker hymn, twentieth-century Quakers adopted it as their own and use it widely today.

Learning How to Say Goodbye from My Mother

Learning How to Say Goodbye from my Mother

 

May has ended up being a tough month for me since my Mom passed.  My Mother’s birthday is May 5th and it is followed closely by Mother’s Day.  It has been over 20 years since I last held her hand but it seems like yesterday and the sting of sadness stays forever.

I was a new Mom, Richard was only 3 ½ years old, My Mom, Mary Antoinette Fonte Brogna, was 78.  She had ongoing health problems and had just started dialysis but it proved too much for her.  We were all with Mom when she died, Dad, Anne and Pat, Carla and myself.  It was 1:27 am and I saw the last pump of her blood thru her neck, she went peacefully. We all hugged in her hospital room and I remember my Dad crying and his tears were so big they splashed on the floor and got my toes wet.  I knew that the love they had was rare and I wanted that kind of love in my life and the life of my son.

Mom wanted to be a nurse and planned to move to Buffalo to go to nursing school but Dad proposed to her so they got married.  I didn’t come along in their marriage until they had worked out all the kinks so things were pretty peaceful.  Mom went thru a depression and I saw her bring herself out of it thru her own will – that was a lesson!  She also was a kid at heart, we both got our drives license’ at the same time, I was 16 and she was 56!  She showed me happiness and sadness and the advice I can still hear her give me was “Remember, everything changes”.  I give her credit for allowing me to go off to Arizona for school but the miles never kept our hearts apart.  I was closer to my Mom across the country then some of my friends who had their Mom’s across town.

My greatest fear was losing my Mom – and yet her greatest lesson to me was in her death.    This song always helps me remember the lessons she taught me, how to be strong, stand up for myself and know how to say goodbye and still survive.

I love you Mom!  Happy Birthday! Happy Mothers Day!

Through the back window of our ’59 wagon
I watched my best friend Jamie slipping further away
I kept on wavin’ till I couldn’t see her
And through my tears I asked again, “Why we couldn’t stay”

Mama whispered softly
“Time will ease your pain
Life’s about changin’
Nothin’ ever stays the same”

And she said, “How can I help you
To say goodbye, it’s okay to hurt and it’s okay to cry
Come let me hold you and I will try
How can I help you to say goodbye”

I sat on our bed he packed his suitcase
I held a picture of our wedding day
His hands were trembling we both were cryin’
He kissed me gently and then he quickly walked away

I called up mama and she said
“Time will ease your pain
Life’s about changin’
Nothin’ ever stays the same”

And she said, “How can I help you
To say goodbye, it’s okay to hurt and it’s okay to cry
Come let me hold you and I will try
How can I help you to say goodbye”

Sittin’ with Mama alone in her bedroom
She opened her eyes and then squeezed my hand
She said, “I have to go now my time here is over”
And with her final words, she tried to help me understand

Mama whispered softly
“Time will ease your pain
Life’s about changin’
Nothin’ ever stays the same”

And she said, “How can I help you
To say goodbye, it’s okay to hurt and it’s okay to cry
Come let me hold you and I will try
How can I help you to say goodbye”

 

Teach Your Children Well

This is a time of such fear and uncertainty.  It is not easy to keep the fear from rising up and overtaking all of our daily thoughts.

I would like to view this time as a time of inter-generational bonding.

I hope this time brings good change.

Some people want to go back to the way we were, but no, that is not what we will do – we will be forced to create a new normal.

Remember 9/11?  Before 9/11 there was only a few ways to get the news – the morning paper, the 6:00 or 11:00 pm news broadcast, the radio on the hour.  My perception is that only after that event on 9/11 did we begin to broadcast 24 hour news programs.  Those programs went over and over the same news all day long.  Some people tune in, get the headlines and tune out back to daily life but for some their daily life is watching the news all day long.

What will be our new normal after this pandemic?  Your guess is as good as mine.  I know some things I hope it is.

I hope this time we spend with our families keeps happening.  Our families are spending more time with each other, talking, listening, reading, playing, laughing.  That is one priceless gift during this time.

I hope the connection between generations keeps happening.  I hear of grandparents helping with childcare instead of a stranger in daycare.  I hear of Grandparents talking and spending time with parents who are talking and spending time with children and learning about each other.

I hope new respect is gained for some of our neighbors and the jobs they do.  The nurses and doctors, the teachers, the truck drivers, the store employees. We all contribute to society but lately it seems we honor those with money more than the hard worker.

I hope the older generation will teach the younger generation the value of these professions.

I hope the younger generation teaches the older generation the value of these professions.

I hope we all learn that we must work together as a society to solve problems.

I hope we all learn that words spoken to divide different groups are destructive.

I hope the older generation teaches the younger generation the value of our history, that we have come together in the past to solve problems. Sometimes it was hard but it was worth it.

I hope the younger generation teaches the older generation that we are all different and just because I don’t look like you or think like you we can still work together to solve problems and make our society stronger.

 

 

You, who are on the road
Must have a code
That you can live by
And so
Become yourself
Because the past
Is just a good-bye

[Chorus]
Teach your children well
Your father’s hell did slowly go by
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picked
The one you’ll know by

Don’t you ever ask them why
If they told you, you would cry
So just look at them and sigh
And know they love you

And you of tender years
Can’t know the fears
That your elders grew by
And so please help
Them with your youth
They seek the truth
Before they can die

[Chorus]
Teach your parents well
The children’s hell
Will slowly go by
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picked
The one you’ll know by

Don’t you ever ask them why
If they told you, you would cry
So just look at them and sigh
And know they love you

Parents need to take back Parenting

 

Cat’s in the Cradle—Harry Chapin

This is a timeless classic, a heart-wrenching one written in 1974 by Harry Chapin about the opportunities that are lost when a parent can’t make time for their child. It attempts to teach a time-earned lesson sooner rather than later and is both a haunting and a cautionary tale.

Lyrics to listen for:

When you comin’ home son
I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then, Dad
We’re gonna have a good time then

Parents need to take back parenting……

I do not know why it bothers me but I see communities scramble to provide food for those children not in school, because, “if we don’t feed them who will?”  Well, isn’t that the parents’ job?  I hear the argument against closing schools because, “a child needs a safe place to go?”  Well, isn’t that what a parent is to provide? Yes, some students will miss out on learning math and reading but maybe, just maybe this will make parents take back their job as a parent.

I have said for years that society keeps asking more and more of our public schools and this coronavirus pandemic is shining a light on that fact right now.

When I began teaching in 1981 it was a really different world.  Students were expected to act in ways that would invite them into society and if there were problems the family was brought in to help solve the problem.  There were no free lunches, there was no free breakfast – the parents were EXPECTED to take care of the children they brought into this world!  There were always families that needed help but there were fewer back then and the community would jump in and help to provide a safety net for the children – neighbors, grandparents and even aunts and uncles.

In the late 80’s early 90’s I witnessed a shift in that thinking.  I was teaching in middle school and distinctly remember a meeting where teachers were very vocal about student behavior and the principal tried to help us see the change in the wind.  There had been a change in behavior from the elementary school and it was moving our way – back then we attributed it to “crack babies” – children born while the mother was on drugs and how it changed behavior in the child as they grew up.

At the same time all the teacher training began to change from teaching our subject matter to how to help these children be ready to learn.  I remember the big campaign – children cannot learn if their stomachs are empty – thus we began to provide free and reduced lunches.  I cannot remember when we began to provide breakfast but now, we are feeding these children two meals a day (in some schools’ dinner too!) and taking over responsibilities their parents should be doing.

Soon after there concern about student behavior and so we introduced “character” education.  Shouldn’t the parents be teaching their children how to treat people, how to act in public, how to be a responsible citizen?  So, here we are shaping the character of children and again taking that responsibility away from the parents’ shoulders.

Why are people having children if they cannot care for them?  Oh, wait that is an entirely different rant….

So, here we are with schools closed and parents having to take over the responsibility of being a parent to their children.  Feeding them, clothing them, teaching them and spending time with them instead of handing them over to the school teachers who are drowning in a classroom of children who have behavior problems and learning problems.

Maybe, just maybe some of the families who are now at home with their children all day every day will take back their jobs as parents.  To feed them, to teach them, to love them and spend time with them.

This song I chose today is Cat Stevens song “The Cat’s in the Cradle”.  Children learn what they live.

Stop the World I Want to get Off!

Stop the World I Want to Get Off!

How many times in our busy, busy lives do we say this?  I know I have and now we have the perfect moment in time right here at our doorstep to do just that.   So take advantage of it!

Listen to this viral video going around right now of an Italian city, Siena, where one person begins a song and the rest of the neighbors from their own balconies join in and sing along with him.  Would this have happened months ago – maybe not because we WERE TOO BUSY TO STOP and listen and join in to something so simple and beautiful as that song.

The song, entitled “Canto della Verbena” (Song of the Verbena) — also known as “E mentre Siena dorme” (While Siena Sleeps) — is sung to show local pride in Siena.

Below are the lyrics translated to English:

Verbena is born in Piazza del Campo

Long live our Siena, long live our Siena

Verbena is born in Piazza del Campo

Long live our Siena, the most beautiful city!

 

This event, this pandemic, happening in our world right now is something a majority of the us have never experienced.  I will admit to being a bit fearful for myself but I tried to push that aside and kept on living a normal life the last few weeks.  I have only changed my habits because it has gotten apparent that to control this outbreak we must isolate ourselves to avoid a rapid spread of this virus so we do not overload the healthcare system.  I have spent most of my time at home, but I still will go out to shop if I need something.  I sit at home and hear the news (of which I turn off after I get the headlines) I think on how this might change our world a bit.

 

As a retired teacher I have dealt with families who are stretched for time and money and watched as the children suffer from the anxiety expressed by their parents.

Parents and children – maybe this is your wakeup call to reconnect with your children.   Take this opportunity to get to know your children again.   There are so many learning opportunities available on the internet spend some time with your children as they do their lessons. Then, take them on virtual field trips – go to the Louvre in France on a virtual tour and teach them about history, art, music.  Show them that the world is smaller than we think and that what happens in China really does affect us here in the US.

I know, finances will be hard especially those parents who work an hourly job.  Take advantage of the help you can get from the government but do not forget the help you can get from your neighbors.  Personally, we know such families and have offered help to them in anyway they will need it.

To the world out there – take care, take it slow and take advantage of how the world as stopped and you can SLOW down.

Celebrate! I’m Retired

Celebrate!!!!

 

“I don’t want to work, I want to bang on the drum all day”

(well I am a band director!)

My first day or retirement

 

Well, actually last Monday was my first day of retirement but I was sick and so I spent most of the week in bed and on the couch.   Monday morning I woke up coughing and choking and couldn’t catch my breath and my husbands’ first words were “you need to go to the doctor” and his second thought was “wait, you need to call your boss and ask permission to be sick and sign into Aesop to get a sub and did you leave lesson plans?”   Of course, the second thought was humor but I was so busy coughing I didn’t laugh.  Yes, I did go to the doctor and she loaded me up on steroids and antibiotics.

 

And, so I really count today as my first day of retirement (without being sick).  It feels strange, I do not have the check the clock,  I do not have to account to someone else of my where abouts or call in to school to get a sub or make lesson plans.  But what does it really feel like?

 

YIPPEE!!!!!

 

Why did I retire? It was time.  I have spent 36 years in the classroom teaching as best I could, reviewing my teaching to get better, doing self assessments to get better then then reviewing my plans again to get better – because there is no perfection in teaching.  These days teachers are evaluated on a 40 minute snap shot of their teaching in the classroom and let’s face it no one can do it all in 40 minutes so the elusive reward of a great evaluation is always out there – and the famous words are “keep trying you are not “accomplished yet”.

 

My subject area is one I deeply love and I could not have lasted in education as long as I did without teaching something that I love.  I have taught in many different settings, from elementary school general music and band to high school band with the bulk of my years in the middle school band setting – which actually has been my favorite.  I also did some teaching at the college level as a private flute instructor and general music instructor to non-music majors.

It has been very rewarding – but it is time.

 

I keep saying that – it is time – time for what?

 

That is the question I will begin to explore and answer.  What do I do next?

 

Do I just relax? Do I find another job?  Do I fill my time with activities and volunteering?  The list is endless and it seems overwhelming to me at times.  I will spend the next few months trying to find out what it is “time” for.  I wish my days to make me feel fulfilled and happy in what I choose to do every day.

 

So today I Celebrate!!!!!

 

 

(This is your celebration)
(This is your celebration)
Celebrate good times, come on (Let’s celebrate)
Celebrate good times, come on (Let’s celebrate)

[Verse 1]
There’s a party goin’ on right here
A celebration to last throughout the years
So bring your good times and your laughter too
We gonna celebrate your party with you
Come on now

[Hook]
(Celebration) Let’s all celebrate and have a good time
(Celebration) We gon’ celebrate and have a good time

[Bridge 1]
It’s time to come together
It’s up to you, what’s your pleasure?
(Everyone around the world come on)

[Pre-Hook]
(Yahoo) It’s a celebration
(Yahoo)

I don’t want to work
I want to bang on the drum all day

Is there a Perfect Christmas?

Merry Christmas!

 

It is December 23rd and I have been out and about today.  Aerobics class was fun we exercised to Christmas music.  As I ran a few errands after the gym I got the feeling that everyone was stressed out.  The drivers were aggressive and speeding to get to their destination, the checkout people were not as friendly as usual, the people shopping were not as polite as usual and I wondered why today was so different from the last few weeks where people were smiling and saying Happy Holidays.  I came home after completing my errands, glad to be home out of the traffic and ready to relax for the holiday but thoughts about the lyrics of this some came to my head.

On this night of hope and salvation
One child lies embraced in a dream
Where each man regardless of station
On this night can now be redeemed

Where every man regardless of his nation
Ancestral relations
On this night the past can fly away

And that dream we’ve dreamed most
That every child is held close
On this night that dream won’t be betrayed

All as one
Raise your voices
Raise your voices
All as one on this Christmas day

All rejoice
Raise your voices
Raise your voices
All rejoice, Anno Domine

On this night when no child’s forgotten
No dream sleeps where he cannot see
No man here is misbegotten
And this night’s dreams are still yet to be

Where every man regardless of his nation
Ancestral relations
On this night the past can fly away

And that dream we’ve dreamed most
That every child is held close
On this night that dream won’t be betrayed

All as one
Raise your voices
Raise your voices
All as one on this Christmas day

All rejoice
Raise your voices
Raise your voices
All rejoice, Anno Domine

 

This song stresses to me how the Holiday is about the Savior who cams as man to save us from the imperfect life we live now.

Getting closer to the holiday I believe puts stress on those who are wishing for the “perfect” holiday.  Well, if there is one thing I have learned in this life so far is that “perfect” holiday does not exist.  The decorations do not matter, the food does not matter, the gifts do not matter – the perfection in Christmas comes from within – from the absolute KNOWING without a doubt Jesus Christ was born and became man for me – He is the Savior of the World.  That is my perfection and how I choose to live as a Blessed Child of God.

I love the song I have shared with you – the melody, the voices but mostly the words.  As a public school teacher I have encountered far too many children who will not have a Merry Christmas. On this night of Hope and Salvation…. the dream of every child is to be held close – there will be children out there who are not held close, they are ignored or even hurt by the hands of their own parents.  That is what this song means to me that one day – one day when Jesus comes back each and every child will finally be held close and taken care of.  Jesus came on Christmas to redeem each and every one of us. That dream we have dreamed most every child is held close that dream won’t be betrayed.

My heart breaks as I remember just a few of the children I have had in my classroom these past 36 years.  One child who had finger marks on his wrist and arm from being held too closely by a father.  One child who had a bruise and scratches on her cheek., When I asked her, she told me “Mom did it” I wanted to cry.  Even closer to home a, 3 year old child left alone in an apartment for 2 days because Mom is involved in the drug world.  This Christmas will not be perfect – nothing will ever be perfect – until………..