How Can I Keep from Singing?

My life flows on in endless song;

Above earth’s lamentation,

I hear the sweet, tho’ far-off hymn

That hails a new creation;

Thro’ all the tumult and the strife

I hear the music ringing;

It finds an echo in my soul—

How can I keep from singing?

What tho’ my joys and comforts die?

The Lord my Saviour liveth;

What tho’ the darkness gather round?

Songs in the night he giveth.

No storm can shake my inmost calm

While to that refuge clinging;

Since Christ is Lord of heaven and earth,

How can I keep from singing?

I lift my eyes; the cloud grows thin;

I see the blue above it;

And day by day this pathway smooths,

Since first I learned to love it,

The peace of Christ makes fresh my heart,

A fountain ever springing;

All things are mine since I am his—

How can I keep from singing?

Today is my 62^nd Birthday and I can hardly believe that I have lived over 6 decades. In so many ways I still feel 20, and optimistically I still have my whole life ahead of me! Reality is….I have lived a full life and am beginning to look back as well as ahead as I live day to day.

I hear some people talk about things they regret in their lives and I really do not regret a single thing. Most of my life decisions turned out to be good ones and even those paths I chose that may not have been the best, I can still see how they helped me grow and taught me things about myself and life.

This song is almost a mantra for me…I first fell in love with it when Enya sang it on one of her albums in the 1990’s. I fell in love with it more when my Mom was in hospice and the tune kept running through my head so I sang it to her in her hospital room. Even though we were so sad at the prospect of losing her, the fact was because of my faith I knew she would be in a much better place of peace.

We are living through a very strange time right now during the Covid Pandemic. I do not want to get into particular issues here but I can say with all my heart “How can I keep from Singing? And I have found that music has been a constant companion to me during this pandemic. I hope you enjoy this song.

“How Can I Keep From Singing?” (also known by its incipit “My Life Flows On in Endless Song“) is a Christian hymn with music written by American Baptist minister Robert Wadsworth Lowry. The song is frequently, though erroneously, cited as a traditional Quaker or Shaker hymn. The original composition has now entered into the public domain, and appears in several hymnals and song collections, both in its original form and with a revised text. Though it was not originally a Quaker hymn, twentieth-century Quakers adopted it as their own and use it widely today.

Learning How to Say Goodbye from My Mother

Learning How to Say Goodbye from my Mother

May has ended up being a tough month for me since my Mom passed. My Mother’s birthday is May 5^th and it is followed closely by Mother’s Day. It has been over 20 years since I last held her hand but it seems like yesterday and the sting of sadness stays forever.

I was a new Mom, Richard was only 3 ½ years old, My Mom, Mary Antoinette Fonte Brogna, was 78. She had ongoing health problems and had just started dialysis but it proved too much for her. We were all with Mom when she died, Dad, Anne and Pat, Carla and myself. It was 1:27 am and I saw the last pump of her blood thru her neck, she went peacefully. We all hugged in her hospital room and I remember my Dad crying and his tears were so big they splashed on the floor and got my toes wet. I knew that the love they had was rare and I wanted that kind of love in my life and the life of my son.

Mom wanted to be a nurse and planned to move to Buffalo to go to nursing school but Dad proposed to her so they got married. I didn’t come along in their marriage until they had worked out all the kinks so things were pretty peaceful. Mom went thru a depression and I saw her bring herself out of it thru her own will – that was a lesson! She also was a kid at heart, we both got our drives license’ at the same time, I was 16 and she was 56! She showed me happiness and sadness and the advice I can still hear her give me was “Remember, everything changes”. I give her credit for allowing me to go off to Arizona for school but the miles never kept our hearts apart. I was closer to my Mom across the country then some of my friends who had their Mom’s across town.

My greatest fear was losing my Mom – and yet her greatest lesson to me was in her death. This song always helps me remember the lessons she taught me, how to be strong, stand up for myself and know how to say goodbye and still survive.

I love you Mom! Happy Birthday! Happy Mothers Day!

Through the back window of our ’59 wagon
I watched my best friend Jamie slipping further away
I kept on wavin’ till I couldn’t see her
And through my tears I asked again, “Why we couldn’t stay”

Mama whispered softly
“Time will ease your pain
Life’s about changin’
Nothin’ ever stays the same”

And she said, “How can I help you
To say goodbye, it’s okay to hurt and it’s okay to cry
Come let me hold you and I will try
How can I help you to say goodbye”

I sat on our bed he packed his suitcase
I held a picture of our wedding day
His hands were trembling we both were cryin’
He kissed me gently and then he quickly walked away

I called up mama and she said
“Time will ease your pain
Life’s about changin’
Nothin’ ever stays the same”

And she said, “How can I help you
To say goodbye, it’s okay to hurt and it’s okay to cry
Come let me hold you and I will try
How can I help you to say goodbye”

Sittin’ with Mama alone in her bedroom
She opened her eyes and then squeezed my hand
She said, “I have to go now my time here is over”
And with her final words, she tried to help me understand

Mama whispered softly
“Time will ease your pain
Life’s about changin’
Nothin’ ever stays the same”

And she said, “How can I help you
To say goodbye, it’s okay to hurt and it’s okay to cry
Come let me hold you and I will try
How can I help you to say goodbye”

Celebrate! I’m Retired

Celebrate!!!!

“I don’t want to work, I want to bang on the drum all day”

(well I am a band director!)

My first day or retirement

Well, actually last Monday was my first day of retirement but I was sick and so I spent most of the week in bed and on the couch. Monday morning I woke up coughing and choking and couldn’t catch my breath and my husbands’ first words were “you need to go to the doctor” and his second thought was “wait, you need to call your boss and ask permission to be sick and sign into Aesop to get a sub and did you leave lesson plans?” Of course, the second thought was humor but I was so busy coughing I didn’t laugh. Yes, I did go to the doctor and she loaded me up on steroids and antibiotics.

And, so I really count today as my first day of retirement (without being sick). It feels strange, I do not have the check the clock, I do not have to account to someone else of my where abouts or call in to school to get a sub or make lesson plans. But what does it really feel like?

YIPPEE!!!!!

Why did I retire? It was time. I have spent 36 years in the classroom teaching as best I could, reviewing my teaching to get better, doing self assessments to get better then then reviewing my plans again to get better – because there is no perfection in teaching. These days teachers are evaluated on a 40 minute snap shot of their teaching in the classroom and let’s face it no one can do it all in 40 minutes so the elusive reward of a great evaluation is always out there – and the famous words are “keep trying you are not “accomplished yet”.

My subject area is one I deeply love and I could not have lasted in education as long as I did without teaching something that I love. I have taught in many different settings, from elementary school general music and band to high school band with the bulk of my years in the middle school band setting – which actually has been my favorite. I also did some teaching at the college level as a private flute instructor and general music instructor to non-music majors.

It has been very rewarding – but it is time.

I keep saying that – it is time – time for what?

That is the question I will begin to explore and answer. What do I do next?

Do I just relax? Do I find another job? Do I fill my time with activities and volunteering? The list is endless and it seems overwhelming to me at times. I will spend the next few months trying to find out what it is “time” for. I wish my days to make me feel fulfilled and happy in what I choose to do every day.

So today I Celebrate!!!!!

(This is your celebration)
(This is your celebration)
Celebrate good times, come on (Let’s celebrate)
Celebrate good times, come on (Let’s celebrate)

[Verse 1]
There’s a party goin’ on right here
A celebration to last throughout the years
So bring your good times and your laughter too
We gonna celebrate your party with you
Come on now

[Hook]
(Celebration) Let’s all celebrate and have a good time
(Celebration) We gon’ celebrate and have a good time

[Bridge 1]
It’s time to come together
It’s up to you, what’s your pleasure?
(Everyone around the world come on)

[Pre-Hook]
(Yahoo) It’s a celebration
(Yahoo)

I don’t want to work
I want to bang on the drum all day

Gratitude

Summer Vacation Blog

This is all about Gratitude and being grateful for what I have in my life right now!

My summer vacation is already in its 3^rd week and I have been too busy to update this blog!

My summer started off with a bang and a visit from my grandchildren! Wow, what a week, I tried to make memories. We visited Marble Children’s museum, an outdoor park where they ran, climbed, rode a sled down a hill, sat in a swing and just had fun. Then a quick day to the beach and we made sure we applied enough sun screen as they played in the sand and collected shells. A trip to Grandma Cookie Dough’s house and wonderful family dinner. And we even sent Mom and Dad to the movie and had fun decorating a gingerbread house and watching a movie. It is my prayer that we made some memories together and that those children know they are loved and can depend on us when they need to!

Then a few days break and back to the beach on a girl’s trip. How wonderful and relaxing this trip was. I continually fall in love with the beach, I love the sound and the sight of the waves – just breathtaking. I grew up by Lake Ontario and would spend hours at the beach, no matter the season, I loved to just sit and listen……..

The last week or so I have spent time defining my “Happy Place” and I have a few special ones. I am so grateful for this life I have, the people around me and the beauty God has surrounded me with. I truly am blessed beyond measure and I have been trying to live with that attitude of gratitude.

A friend posted this quote on their Facebook and it spoke to me today:

“Gratitude brings a Peace that helps us overcome the pain of adversity and failure.

Gratitude on a daily basis means we express Appreciation for what we have now without qualification for what we had in the past or desire in the future.”

Robert D Hales

Give Thanks with a grateful heart

Lyrics

Give thanks with a grateful heart
Give thanks to the Holy One
Give thanks because He’s given Jesus Christ, His Son

Give thanks with a grateful heart
Give thanks to the Holy One
Give thanks because He’s given Jesus Christ, His Son

And now let the weak say, “I am strong”
Let the poor say, “I am rich
Because of what the Lord has done for us”

And now let the weak say, “I am strong”
Let the poor say, “I am rich
Because of what the Lord has done for us.

You may have to copy and paste this link.

https://youtu.be/blbslHDgceY

You may have to copy and paste this to listen to the video.