Author: mtenisonwillis

I am a retired band director living in Texas.

Black and White

Black and White

Confession, I recently purchased a new car with all the bells and whistles and it came with SiriumXM and I have been glued to the 70’s on 7 channel!  I guess it brings me back to a time in my life that was fun and carefree.

Yesterday I heard this song by Three Dog Night “Black and White”.  I have heard and sang along with this song so many times over the years, but I never really knew what it was about.  You can read the specifics on Wikipedia but it was written in the 1950’s and referenced the Supreme Court Decision Brown vs. the Board of Education.  If you are not familiar with this landmark case look it up, also look up information about the Central High School Crisis in Little Rock.  All of it fascinating, some of it disgraceful but part of our history and every American should know about it.

I spent many years teaching in Little Rock and felt the remnants of the 1950’s crisis even 40 years later.  And as I write this, America is again struggling with the topic of racism and I wonder when will we learn from our past?

In one way we are only 4 generations away from this landmark case, but in another way shouldn’t we be light years away from the archaic thinking about race? I will choose to not make this blog about racism but I will urge you to listen to the song, and take a look around as you shop, work and live in your community.   We have come a long way, but we have a LONG way to go.

“Black & White”
The ink is black, the page is white
Together we learn to read and write
A child is black, a child is white
The whole world looks upon the sight
A beautiful sight

And now a child can understand
That this is the law of all the land
All the land

The world is black, the world is white
It turns by day and then by night
A child is black, a child is white
Together they grow to see the light
To see the light

And now, at last, we plainly see
We’ll have a dance of liberty
Liberty

The world is black, the world is white
It turns by day and then by night
A child is black, a child is white
The whole world looks upon the sight
A beautiful sight

The world is black, the world is white
It turns by day and then by night
A child is black, a child is white
Together they grow to see the light
To see the light

The world is black, the world is white
It turns by day and then by night
A child is black, a child is white
The whole world looks upon the sight
A beautiful sight

The world is black, the world is white
It turns by day and then by night
A child is black, a child is white
Together they grow to see the light
To see the light

C’mon
Get it
Get it
Ohh-ohhhh yeah
Yeah
Keep it up now, around the world
Little boys and little girls
Yeah
Yeah-eah, oh-ohhh

 

The song was inspired by the United States Supreme Court decision of Brown v. Board of Education (1954), which outlawed racial segregation of public schools.

The original lyrics of the song opened with this verse, in reference to the court:

Their robes were black, their heads were white,
The schoolhouse doors were closed so tight,
Nine judges all set down their names,
To end the years and years of shame.

However, the version of the song recorded by Greyhound, and subsequently covered by Three Dog Night, did not include this verse – making the song more universal, but also less historically specific.

 

Facebook Friends

FACEBOOK

 

What is Facebook to you?

 

To me facebook is a way of connecting with friends and family.  I have spent my life in different places and I have made good friends everywhere I have lived.  But, life moves on and we go other directions.  I think about those people quite often and have many of those people on my facebook feed.  I love to hear about their lives and wish some of them would post more often (you know who you are).

 

Facebook is NOT a political forum for me, it is NOT a place venting anger and definitely NOT a place to just forward someone else’s ideas or jokes, (although I am guilty of some of that).  If you are my friend from a past life, keep posting, keep letting the world know about your life it is a way friends can keep up with you!

 

I was listening to old CD’s and ran across this song – I love it and am sharing it here for all of my friends!

 

“Friends With You”

What a friend we have in time. Gives us children, makes us wine.
Tells us what to take or leave behind.
And the gifts of growing old, all the stories to be told
of the feelings more precious than gold.

Friends I will remember you, think of you, pray for you.
And when another day is through, I’ll still be friends with you.

Baby’s days are never long. Mother’s laugh is baby’s song.
Gives us all the hope to carry on.

Friends I will remember you, think of you, pray for you.
And when another day is through, I’ll still be friends with you.
Friends I will remember you, think of you, pray for you.
And when another day is through, I’ll still be friends with you.
My friends, I will remember you, think of you, pray for you.
And when another day is through, I’ll still be friends with you.

 

Gratitude

Summer Vacation Blog

This is all about Gratitude and being grateful for what I have in my life right now!

My summer vacation is already in its 3rd week and I have been too busy to update this blog!

My summer started off with a bang and a visit from my grandchildren! Wow, what a week, I tried to make memories. We visited Marble Children’s museum, an outdoor park where they ran, climbed, rode a sled down a hill, sat in a swing and just had fun. Then a quick day to the beach and we made sure we applied enough sun screen as they played in the sand and collected shells. A trip to Grandma Cookie Dough’s house and wonderful family dinner. And we even sent Mom and Dad to the movie and had fun decorating a gingerbread house and watching a movie. It is my prayer that we made some memories together and that those children know they are loved and can depend on us when they need to!

Then a few days break and back to the beach on a girl’s trip. How wonderful and relaxing this trip was. I continually fall in love with the beach, I love the sound and the sight of the waves – just breathtaking. I grew up by Lake Ontario and would spend hours at the beach, no matter the season, I loved to just sit and listen……..

The last week or so I have spent time defining my “Happy Place” and I have a few special ones. I am so grateful for this life I have, the people around me and the beauty God has surrounded me with. I truly am blessed beyond measure and I have been trying to live with that attitude of gratitude.

A friend posted this quote on their Facebook and it spoke to me today:

“Gratitude brings a Peace that helps us overcome the pain of adversity and failure.

Gratitude on a daily basis means we express Appreciation for what we have now without qualification for what we had in the past or desire in the future.”

Robert D Hales

Give Thanks with a grateful heart

Lyrics

Give thanks with a grateful heart
Give thanks to the Holy One
Give thanks because He’s given Jesus Christ, His Son

Give thanks with a grateful heart
Give thanks to the Holy One
Give thanks because He’s given Jesus Christ, His Son

And now let the weak say, “I am strong”
Let the poor say, “I am rich
Because of what the Lord has done for us”

And now let the weak say, “I am strong”
Let the poor say, “I am rich
Because of what the Lord has done for us.

You may have to copy and paste this link.

https://youtu.be/blbslHDgceY

You may have to copy and paste this to listen to the video.

The Four Agreements

The Four Agreements

By Don Miguel Ruiz

 

1.       Be Impeccable with your word

 

2.       Do not take anything personally

 

3.       Do not make assumptions

 

4.       Always do your best

A few years back this book was recommended to me by a friend Angela.  Every time I read it or think about it I think of her!  I say many of these statements from this book to myself often.   Do I always follow its’ advice – no – but usually when I am angry or frustrated I can look at these four statements and one of them will hit home and put my thinking right again.

1.       Be impeccable with your word

Wow, this one can be tricky.  To me this means say what you mean and mean what you say.  Do not change what you are saying because of the person you are speaking to or the situation you are in.  That means that I try to stop before I voice an opinion and say – I do not know all the facts yet so let me find out.  If you have really searched your mind and believe something with your heart you should not be afraid to say it, if you fear to speak then it is better the be quiet.

When you find someone who has shown to you that they are honest and true the their word.  Hang on to their friendship, it is priceless to be able to talk and open up to someone and know that what they say to you is what they really mean.

 

2.       Do not take anything personally

 

I think  we have become a society guilty of thinking everything is all about “us” and that when we come upon someone with a different outlook we think they must be “out to get us”.  I believe more often than not the other person or persons are just living out their reality and it differs with ours.

It makes me shake my head time and again when I see on facebook the rantings of someone who has felt wronged.  From the checkout girl at the grocery store who bagged the groceries wrong, to the doctor/nurse who didn’t give you the diagnosis or the medicine you believe you should have, to the car that cut you off in traffic – yeah they were out to get you.  REALLY?  It would make your life so much easier if you just realized it might be their story and you just happened by so don’t take it personally.

Even with our own families, how many times have you taken someone else’s bad mood as a reflection of something you have done and they are displeased with you?  It is ok to allow someone to be in a bad mood – it may not be about you at all.  In the same way it is ok to tell those around you that you need just a little time to process your mood before you speak about it.   Think about that the next time you think someone is out to get you – it might be about them not you.

 

3.       Do not make assumptions

This one goes hand in hand with the last one.  Have you ever had an encounter with someone and it was not the friendliest?  It is our natural inclination to make that person out to be mean or they do not like us.  It simply might be just a bad day and if you do not always assume it is about you your life will be so much less stressful.  It can be exhausting to think that all negative encounters are a reflection of yourself.

4.       Always do your best

 

Is this something that we have to learn from childhood?  There is an old wives’ tale – “if something is worth doing it is worth doing well” – but how many people really believe that today?  I think somehow it has changed to “I can get this done with a minimum of effort and still get credit for it or get paid for it”.  I was instilled with the do my best attitude and I tried to instill that to my children.  I hope people realize that when I do a job I try to make it my very best.

 

There is a wealth of info on Don Miguel – just go to his website and read about him, his team and his teachings.  The teachings come from the ancient civilization of the Toltecs who lived in central Mexico.  I can tell you facts but you can look them up for yourself.

 www.miguelruiz.com

I am a Survivor

I am a Survivor

 

I have just celebrated my third anniversary of a breast cancer diagnosis in 2016.  I am feeling strong yet weak, fearless yet afraid, blessed even though I have been struck by lightning twice!

 

Those of you who do not know me, this was my second breast cancer diagnosis.  I was divorced in 1999 and about 15 months later I was diagnosed with breast cancer on the left side.  I was a divorced, 41 year old single Mom to a 6 year old boy and felt very all alone.  Oh, I had friends and co-workers who were there to support me, but late at night, I was all alone wondering what the future held for me and my son. My family was not near, My Dad and one sister still lived at home in New York and another sister in Phoenix.  I knew I had to be strong but there were times it was very difficult.  I often sat alone and listened to this song but Don Wharton over and over.

 

Just Be strong and courageous,

Don’t be discouraged, don’t be afraid.

Just be Strong and courageous

For the Lord you God is with you all the time.

 

I do wish I could find a video or even audio of this song but when I do I will post it.

 

I must share that at this time I was still so very bitter over the divorce and I really believed I would never be able to trust anyone again and be alone the rest of my life.  I was prepared for that but instead I found someone who I could trust – Jason was a friend, we shared a hobby but he helped me laugh when all I really wanted to do was cry.

 

That friendship, I believe, was how I learned to trust another person again, and in December of 2001 Jason and I were married.

 

Fast forward through our children growing up, my sister moving in with us and then into a nursing home, job changes and then in 2014 Jason lost his job and the search for a new one took us to Ireland, and Toronto but eventually we ended in Raleigh, North Carolina.  This is where Jason was born, although his family moved him to Arkansas when he was 10 days old.  His Mother and one brother live just about an hour from where we live now.  We worked on settling in, paying off debt and saving for a house.  I was teaching and things were good.

I will add, that I kept up with my annual mammograms, and by now the fear that always came the week or so before I have my annual had almost gone away.  I guess you can say it is like some kind of PTSD – I will never forget the first time the doctor looked at me straight in the eye, after the first ultrasound, and said, “Mrs. Tenison this is very serious and you must see a surgeon right away”.  You never forget the feeling but it had faded a bit in 16 years.

 

I went in on New Years’ Eve 2015 for my annual mammogram and they found something suspect so they did an ultra sound.  They recommended a needle biopsy but could not get ahold of my primary care physician to get it approved.  I will also add I kept trying to call Jason but his phone was dead and I was getting more and more frantic. So, I was scheduled for the biopsy the following Wednesday.

 

I made it through the biopsy and I was thinking surely not again?  But one of those PTSD moments hit on Friday afternoon when I went back to the doctor and she looked at me and said “You have breast cancer AGAIN, you have been through this you know the drill”. Not quite the way I would have liked to get the news but it is what it is.

 

I had to find a surgeon, tell my children, and then face this AGAIN!  I guess I still capitalize that would because it is so true AGAIN! AGAIN!

 

This cancer was on the right side, the pathology was totally different from the first diagnosis so I really had been struck by lightning a second time.  Treatment took about 9 months.  Surgery to remove the cancer, reconstruction to make both breasts look smaller but “perky” as I say, Shaving my head in preparation for chemo.  I had four rounds, and then 6 ½ weeks of radiation.  This time I didn’t feel so alone because Jason was there for me.  He even said this was different for him because last time he was a just helping out a friend but this time it was his wife.  Jason’s Mom, Linda, was a life saver, she was there for both of us when we needed her.

 

I know this job in North Carolina was where we were supposed to be, I do not know what I would have done had we been in Ireland or Canada?  Far from family and a totally different health care system.

 

Writing about this helps so very much.  I kept a Blog which really did help me through the worst of it.  I still have anxiety as I go in for my annual mammograms.  I still have lasting effects from the chemo that will never go away, but I am getting better every day.  Which bring me to the next song, this song is on Marie Osmonds’ latest alum Music is Medicine.  Marie is joined by Olivia Newton John, who at this time is going through her second battle with breast cancer.

To all those who have been through this or especially those who are witness to a family member or loved one living with this diagnosis.  Be kind, be patient, be present and don’t forget to make them laugh!!!

 

https://binged.it/2RK6Eyk

 

I’m stronger than ever

Every struggle somehow taught me how to fight

Each tomorrow is always looking bright

I keep getting better all the time.

Mary, did you know?

Happy 9th Day of Christmas!  I don’t have ladies dancing today but I have two of my favorite Christmas songs to share with you.

The first is a popular song and I will share the version sung by Pentatonix.  There is something about acapella singing I adore, it goes straight to my heart.

Mary, did you Know? https://binged.it/2R3TqvN

I have always had a special place in my heart for Mary, the Mother of God.  Maybe because I have her name, maybe it got stronger while I was pregnant.  To have new life inside of you and to know that you are a part of God’s plan to CREATE life.  Pretty spectacular feeling!  I can be certain that Mary felt the same things all pregnant mothers feel, but on top of that she had the Angel of God tell her this was the Savior, the Lamb of God, the Son of God.  What might she have been feeling with those added pressures? 

The song looks at our perspective – did she know all the details of her Son’s life?  Well, no she didn’t but she had the same hopeful feelings during her pregnancy that all mothers do.  What will my child look like?  What will he or she become or do in the world?  Don’t all Mothers aspire to leave the world a better place and hope that our offspring are part of making it a better place?  Mary had one more thing to rely on and that was her faith that these promises told to her by the Angel and to Joseph in a dream were in fact the voice of God telling her who this child really was – the Son of God!

This next song is not as well know but really speaks to my heart and is probably one of my all time favorite songs.  This is a song more from the perspective of what Mary was thinking and helps me connect with what she might have been feeling and how she got through hard times of doubt and pain.

Breath of Heaven (Mary’s Song) https://youtu.be/TOQRtYYERGo

Again, it connects me to Mary –  Even after the message from the Angel, even after the dream Joseph had, surely she had her doubts about this baby?  I can believe it was her faith that kept her going.  Well, her faith along with the occasional visits from strangers (the king bearing gifts) and the words from strangers (Simeon).

“Lord, now let your servant depart in peace, according to your word; for my eyes have seen your salvation which you have prepared in the presence of all peoples, a light for revelation to the Gentiles, and for glory to your people Israel.” And his father and his mother marveled at what was said about him; 34 and Simeon blessed them and said to Mary his mother, “Behold, this child is set for the fall and rising of many in Israel, and for a sign that is spoken against (and a sword will pierce through your own soul also),that thoughts out of many hearts may be revealed.” – Luke 2:25, RSV-2CE  

Those encounters must have kept her and Joseph going every single time they doubted.  And in those times of doubt Mary’s faith led her to pray and ask for that light Breath of Heaven to be with her.  I have sung this song and said this prayer through hard times of my own and asked that God just send a small breath of heaven to push me through the hard time and remind me of His love and promise to take care of me always.  Maybe that is what Mary prayed for – the breath of God to help her through the task of raising the Son of God.

 

 

Christmas Past

Christmas past

Many childhood memories surface around the Christmas Holiday.  Many of them include music – Adeste Fidelis Oh come All Ye Faithful – I can still HEAR my Mom singing that hymn literally I hear her voice singing it in latin.  Adeste Fideles

I was the youngest of three girls and there was quite a gap in our ages.  My oldest sister A was 16 when I was born and my middle sister C was 11 when I was born so I really was “the baby”.  My Mom called me her baby until she passed away.  It was almost like I was an only child with all of us being so far apart. So, when I became conscious of Santa I was the only one in the house getting Santa presents and it was pretty cool to have all the attention.

I few gifts that stick out in my memory was the year I REALLY wanted a puppy – but did not get one – a real one at least.  I had my pretend puppy in the basement and he was there every time I went down there to play, he walked with me to school and waited for me each afternoon. I believe I had that “puppy” until at least May – maybe I was just lonely?

The year I got my own stereo and headphones was the best – I could listen to my music as loud as I wanted anytime I wanted – it was most likely the Osmonds! The Osmonds

I loved Christmas, I still do.  The music, I love listening to it, I love singing it I love playing it.  Even this year as a member of our community band I still enjoy, really enjoy playing all of the traditional Christmas music.  You’d think after playing Christmas Festival almost every year since I was in high school I would be sick of it by now but noooo I LOVE IT! Christmas Festival – Boston Pops

Music has always carried me away to a happy place, it touches something inside me that is very hard to explain and Christmas music even more so because of all of the memories attached to it.

TO all who took the time to read this entry, thank you and a very Merry Christmas to you! 

Welcome to my life!

I have been planning to start this Blog for many months now and finally on December 2, 2018 it is done.  What will I write about?  Well, my first love has always been and will always be music so you will read my thoughts on musical pieces and how they have affected my life.  I also will include personal thoughts about my life and the world around me.  I hope this will allow my children and grandchildren to know me better.  I love discussion and welcome comments, but remember this is all my own opinion so you might not agree with everything I share, but I am adult enough to hear your side.  So, Happy First day of Advent 2018 and Welcome to my Life!!!